Now, of course, she's not a Jack Russell or for that matter, even a proper canine but there you go - she's my surrogate mother. When they took me away from the pack, at that very tender age, she's what I got in return. Actually, when I come to think of it, I don't miss the pack at all.

My natural mum is called Millie and she's lovely, but my sister, Midge, is a little - well what can you say. It's hard to put it politely - a little rough I would say. Anyway, getting back to my human mum, she's very nice really because she buys me all kinds of dog treats and she spoils me and takes me for walks and we have lots of cuddles and licks.

My only complaint is that I would like more treats and more meat. Dogs like meat! However, I keep getting the old dog-biscuit routine. There nothing really wrong with dog-biscuits - after all I an an omnivore - but I would like a bit more of that puppy meat in future so if you ever get round to reading this, mum, that's what you need to start putting in that trolley when you go to Tescos.

And if you are a Jack Russell reading this and you are not getting enough - meat that is - write to me (use the comment below) and we'll start a Jack Russells of the World Unite campaign to lobby the government to ensure we all get our proper share of dog meat.